What the Spoon Theory Teaches SPED Moms (and Our Kids) About Energy
If you’ve ever woken up already tired, staring at a to-do list that feels impossible — welcome to the club. For moms raising kids with IEPs, every day is a balancing act. The Spoon Theory is one of the best ways I’ve found to explain the invisible load we carry. And it’s not just for us — it can help our kids understand their own energy, too.
What is the Spoon Theory?
The Spoon Theory is a way to describe limited energy. Imagine you start the day with a set number of spoons. Every task — waking your child, packing a lunch, emailing the teacher, sitting in an IEP meeting, managing meltdowns — costs spoons. When the spoons are gone, you’re done. No matter how important the next task is, you can’t just “push through.”
Why SPED Moms Need This Language
We do double-duty: advocacy + parenting. That drains spoons faster.
It helps explain to others why “I can’t” isn’t laziness — it’s reality.
It’s a tool for boundaries. “I’m out of spoons today” is a whole sentence.
How Our Kids Can Use It, Too
Many neurodivergent kids also deal with spoon limits. Sitting in class, masking, following rules, sensory overload — all of that costs spoons. By teaching our kids this language, we:
Give them permission to rest when their spoons run low.
Build self-advocacy: “I don’t have enough spoons for another worksheet.”
Reduce shame: needing a break doesn’t mean they’re failing.
How to Start Practicing Spoon Awareness
Track your spoons in a simple journal or Google Sheet.
Help your child name what drains vs. what restores spoons.
Share spoon talk with teachers so they understand hidden exhaustion.
Make spoon-saving plans: prepping clothes the night before, using a meltdown plan, asking for help.
You’re not weak because you’re tired. You’re not failing because you need rest. You and your child both deserve accommodations — at home, at school, and in life. Protect your spoons, mama. They’re precious.
